Post Op Check Up and Sharing the Beauty of Phoenix with Friends

Feb 9, 2006

Wednesday morning started out with our usual routine. I had a post-op appointment at Dr. M’s office later that morning. Yesterday, we went for an hour long walk in the morning in our B&B’s neighborhood which is near Paradise Valley. Later that day, we went shopping for a few hours at the shopping center in Scottsdale and that evening the group of us went out for an hour long walk with Amy. I over did the activity that day and my LP got sore and a bit more swollen after all that activity and the problem with hypersensitive nipples made things worst. I just went to bed after dinner when we got back to the B&B.

Jen went for a short walk while I got ready for today’s appointment. Once Jen was back from her walk and got ready, we headed over to Dr. Meltzer's office for my appointment. I check in with the receptionist. Jan, one of Amy’s friends was in the waiting room when we arrived. She just had a minor in office procedure done to correct a minor problem that developed post-op. We chatted for a while about whole bunch of stuff among them was how Amy was doing at Greenbaum. Debbie appeared and called me and we followed her into one of the exam rooms. We chatted for a short time and she handed me one of those black robes to change into while she went to get Dr. Meltzer. I just got the robe on when Dr. Meltzer came into the exam room with RN Lindsay and Jennifer who was in the patient care learning process. Dr. Meltzer was his usual cheerful self and we talked about cycling and I told him about my over activity from yesterday. When Debbie heard about what happened yesterday and she was surprised that ‘misseee’ careful did that. He rolled the exam chair back to have a look at my LP. It was swollen, slightly bruised and draining slightly, but overall my recovery was doing well and what one would expect at this point during the recovery process. We continued to talks about cycling and his trip to Cal Dream’ in April 2006. Dr. M was ready to move on to his next patient until Lindsay and I reminded him to remove the BA sutures under my areola. RN Lindsay and Dr. Meltzer started to peel back the top square of tape covering the areola to expose the free ends of the suture. Next, he asked Lindsay for a forceps and Dr. Meltzer slowly pulled the free end of the suture out. This was more painful than I expected. Once both sutures were removed, Lindsay and Dr. Meltzer trimmed off the top half of the square tape on both sides. Lindsay told me to leave the bottom half on to protect the incision and the tape should fall of in time. There was just enough time for one picture of me with Dr. Meltzer and Lindsay before he went on to his next patient. Lindsay went over the breast massage routine with me again and had my personal boobie massager do this too and a few more post-op instructions and we were done. Lindsay and Jennifer left the exam room and I changed out of the robe and back into my clothes. I wanted to say goodbye to Carole, pass on our well wishes and a quick photo. As we were leaving her office Linda and Nikki passed by and I stopped her for a quick photo.

It was time to head back to Greenbaum with Jan to visit with Amy and see how she was doing. All of us drove over to Greenbaum to drop off Jan. Jan has been staying with Amy during most of this week. Jan has been Amy’s primary care taker during her time at Greenbaum.

Jen and I had a lunch date with Erika and Jo at the Sanctuary in Paradise Valley. Erika is a retired surgeon from Switzerland and her wife is an anesthesiologist. Erika had her VAG done by Dr. Meltzer during the last week of January. She met Dr. Meltzer during the HBIGDA meeting in Italy last year and did a consultation with him during that time. It turns out a large number of doctors go to Dr. Meltzer for their surgery. We shared a wonderful lunch with conversation ranging from T* stuff to world politics. Erika’s wife Jo commented on the great number of surgeons that she had worked with over the years and Dr. Meltzer is a rarity due to his true love for what he does, caring and humanity. She had total confidence in his team, surgical skills and technique. Many of the surgeons Jo worked with are surgeons for ego, status or momentary rewards, she found Dr. Meltzer so different from the other surgeons she worked with during her career. We all had a wonderful time together and took a few pictures before we parted.

When we arrived at the Sanctuary Spa, AUDI was doing a press release of their new Q7 SUV. It’s an AUDI variant of the Porsche Cayenne or VW Tourage. Jen and I spent a few moments looks at the Q7 and display. No AUDI folks were there at the time, but the display and press schedule was interesting. All this reminds me of how the manufactures wine and dines the press to get a positive review for their new product and advertising revenue. Once were done with this exhibit, Jen and I headed over to my sis home in Phoenix.

We were greeted with warm and friendly soft hugs before heading over to South Phoenix Mountain Park. This is one of the highest places in Phoenix and the view from top of this mountain was stunning. The drive took us thru one of the poorest districts in Phoenix, such a contrast to places like Scottsdale or Paradise Valley. My sis in Phoenix shared a Michael Franks CD with us during our drive and listening to this brought back many memories from my youth. When we arrived, there were a number of cyclists who pedaled to the top starting from the parking lot. The beautiful long and winding road to the top was several miles long. I have always enjoyed the beauty of the desert environment. Once we were parked at the top of South Phoenix Mountain, there was several Native American's selling jewelry. I looked over what their offerings and purchased a few items. The three of us walked over to the edge of the parking lot to enjoy the stunning view Phoenix. Our next stop was a Ranada that was located a short distance from the parking lot. We parked the car off the side of the road and hiked a short trail out to this Ranada which was built during, “The New Deal Era”. It was a brick and stone structure that offered a nice quiet shelter from the hot Phoenix sun. Sis was thoughtful enough to bring a nice foam cushion for me to sit on. It was nice to spent quiet time together in this beautiful desert environment. With late in the afternoon approaching, it was time for us to head back before rush hour traffic clogs up the roads towards home. During our drive home, Jan called to let us know Amy’s grand opening was not far away. We drove back to my sis in Phoenix’s home and dropped her off with warm goodbyes.

We headed back to the B&B for a short while before going over to Greenbaum. By the time we arrived at Amy’s room, her grand opening was done and she was happy and relieved that it was over. This was a big event in Amy’s life and we shared our memories of this same event with her. We spent the rest of that early evening with Amy and Jan entertaining her with our humor. These were joyful and happy times we shared together in Amy’s room. Amy’s dinner arrived and we decided it was time for us to do the same. I wanted to try the roasted chicken place on Scottsdale road, but we ended up at RA-Japanese restaurant. During our dinner conversation, Jan and I got into a conversation about wave theory, Maxwell’s Demon, optics and a bunch of other physics related topics. We were both surprise that we ended up talking about these topics and that was when I learned Jan is a senior scientist who works at JPL and Jan of my life long interest in physics. I felt bad for leaving Jen out of our conversation and moved on to other subjects. After our dinner, some one decided to crank up the music (NOISE) which made conversation really difficult. We asked for the bill and headed back to visit Amy. She had just finished dinner and was not feeling well after her meal, it was a case of nausea gettng worst.

It was time for us to head back to the B&B. The time has come for me to have a date with my plastic boy friends (dilate). Almost a week has passed since my last date and I’m healed well enough to try. I got ready for the chore and the main pain was at the bottom of my revised labia where a large number of sutures were pulling. The VAG itself felt pretty much the same as before. Number 2 went OK and number 3 was a bit more difficult with more pain involved, but do-able. I had no motivation to do number 4. Dilating post labiaplasty was not that bad overall. It was still quite swollen and if I had to do this a few days before, it would have been more difficult and painful. Being able to put off this chore for a week or so does make a difference in the post labiaplasty recovery process. I have kept my vulva as clean as possible by changing pads after every bathroom visit, rinsing with the sitz bottle when possible no undies when home and coating the suture lines with Bacitracin twice daily. There are the boobie exercises done daily and my post op meds of Arnica, acidophilus, Colace and Motrin as needed. This will be the routine for the next week or so.

I called Amy after my date to see how she was doing with her first full day of dilating. She did OK with the chore, but her nausea was getting worst. We will visit her in tomorrow.

This has been a very rewarding and eventful day. Its day 6 post op and I’m feeling and doing very well considering all that went on. I’m pretty sure my overall good health and fitness level had much to do with my speedy recovery. I’m surprised at how well and good I feel at this point during the recovery process.

Giddy in Boobieville

February 8, 2006

Maybe it’s just me or what ever that part of me which worries to no end over bad things that might happen. But in the end, what I was most worried about did not happen. It's also a tribute to Dr. Meltzer's skill and judgement as a surgeon. Instead, I got the opposite, hypersensitive nipples and they have become the most difficult thing for me to deal with for now. The constant flows of sensation from them gives me a headache and while some parts of my BA still hurt slightly and my LP is swollen and hurts at times, the hypersensitivity problem is enough to make me stop what I’m doing. Jen & I have been walking to more each day and the discomfort and pain from what I’m wearing on my nipples is enough to shorten or stop our walks together. Tylenol and Motrin work to help make this problem better. Being Braless does not help either. The added weight does get some getting use to as heavier boobies has changed my posture more than I imagined and I’m still in the learning process with how best to deal with this.

My boobies are still high, hard and swollen. It’s going to be a few months before they soften and drop to their final resting position. Massaging them helps me learn more about that new part of my body and aids in the recovery process. My tops just barely fit now due to the girls being in Boobieville. Otherwise, Jen and friends who are here during our stay have noted how giddy I have been over the past few days. Last year nearly 300,000 women got Breast Augmentation. This is the second most common cosmetic procedure for women with lipo suction being number one. I’m beginning to understand why BA is so popular among women for cosmetic procedures. It not only changes your body shape to a degree I did not understand until now, but they definitely make me feel more female in many ways. I was a small ‘B’ before BA and now I’m going to be a somewhere’ C’. What I had naturally put in my mind all those female sensations and problems that come with breast ownership, but now that my breast are fuller and far better proportioned to my body, it changes not only the visual aspects of my body, it changed how they feel. Even now, so early post-op, they really do feel like they are a part of me that should have been there originally. I guess this is just another part of living in a female body and having top and bottom makes the mind and soul feel more at home which is why I have been so Giddy in Boobieville for the past few days.

I joined a group of women who were scheduled for BA near the time of my BA. This group of women has been so wonderful and so supportive in so many ways. There is still a negative social stigma regarding women who decide to get BA. Many are looked upon as slutty women with huge breast who work in the sex / adult entertainment industry, but the fact is, every woman I have met on this list is just the opposite. Most are married with loving hubbies and children. Many have suffered from the ravages of breast feeding their children or born with breast deformities or breast that are out of proportion with their bodies. They endure the BA procedure with the hope of getting a body they can feel good about. Basically, they are doing this for themselves and not to please those that might notice as the primary reason. All of us on that list are now post BA and most had few problems and are happy with the results visual and emotional. I would like to thank these women for sharing our experiences with BA and other aspects of their lives. It also reinforces my previous experiences with my mom friends that relationships among women are very different than those between men. I believe part of this is hormonal, biological, and genetic and is fixed in our basic being. The other aspects are social and cultural. It is a complex thing, but the fact remains, having a given body type does not determine who you really are and how you relate to those around you. My mom friends accepted me and treated me just like any of the other moms regardless of my physical male body at the time. Many are still my closest friends as we have watched and shared the journey of our children growing up. I feel blessed to have the experience of caring for our children and sharing with those on the same journey.

Labiaplasty has its own set of challenges post-op and while it is considered a low risk procedure and not to be really concerned with. Swelling is the one to be concerned with. I kept my activity level as low as possible post op as the more you do, the more it swells. Ice on and off every 30 to 45 minutes for the first few days makes a difference. My labia minora / majora and vulva looked huge and bloated on the first day or so. It is now day 6 post and the swelling has significantly reduced. I used pads only when we went out for short periods of time. I went bare bottoms with no pads or undies while I was in bed or lounging around at the B&B. Keep the area clean and rinse with the sitz bottle after going to the potty and Bacatracin on the suture lines as directed by Dr. Meltzer. Overall, Labiaplasty has not been really painful for me after the first few days. It’s really like a mini VAG as you get to do the crab walk for the first few days and all those same problems encountered during the VAG. I’m beginning to get a sense of what my final vulva is going to look like and I think it’s going to be fine. My expectation for this procedure is centered on functionally rather than visual and that is pretty much what I got. It is amazing that my vulva turned out the way it did in function and appearance.

BA & LP Post Op Day 1

February 3, 2006

I looked at the clock at the front of my room and it was 6:00 AM. Jen stayed with me that night sleeping on that lumpy sleeper I don’t like. No matter where we go, Jen appears to sleep well. I rolled the bed to a sitting up position and had a look at my LP, All I can say is it looks really swollen. I put the ice bag back on that area to help reduce the swelling. This was the first time I had a chance to really look at wrapped boobies. All I can really see is one big mono boob in wrapped in ace bandage. I did not really notice the constriction before, but it’s really starting to become a problem for me. Using the insprometer which is one of those chores you do when you get general anesthesia is more work as the wrapping is constrictive. Some time between 6:00 AM and 7:00 AM a nurse came to collect the PCA. I no longer needed it and it was definitely worth having for this combined procedure. The nurse also gave me two percocet to take for pain.
It was about 7:00 when Jen woke up and the medical aid came in to remove my Foley catheter. I was nervous about this as the last time post VAG; I was not able to pee once the catheter was removed and had to be re-catheterized for the trip home and removed a few days later. That was not fun. The aid rolled the bed almost flat, deflated the cuff and pulled out the catheter. This is never a pleasant experience.

He also removed the compression stocking on my calves. I was happy to have then gone as they were beginning to itch. They were on for two days post VAG and got really irritating as time went by. A few minutes later, I felt the need to pee and asked him to unhook my IV so I can get out of bed to the bathroom. The start was not easy, but pee did happen and I was really relieved. That is one obstacle out of the way. Back to bed and he re-connected my IV after I settled back in bed. It was just a matter of time before the IV will be gone too and I’m no longer tethered to the bed by any plumbing. It also means freedom. I got a surprise visit from Dr. Williams, my anesthesiologist from yesterday. This is the first time I have know of an anesthesiologist visiting a patient post-op. Maybe it was our conversation from yesterday’s pre-op that motivated him to visit. We talked about everything from meds he will be using to ETT tube size (in my case 7.5mm), regardless, it was really nice to have him stop by to chat and see how I was doing post-op. Jen came over and we talked about all the events from yesterday. I tried to learn more about her conversation with Dr. Meltzer regarding my surgery. But the questions I had Jen was not able to answer, so this is going to wait until Dr. Meltzer stops by to check on me. I knew he was going cycling with a friend this morning and will not be by until afternoon. Jen and I spent talking about stuff we usually talk about. Some times I wonder what Jen would do without a TV, she can get so glued to that thing. The room aid came by with a breakfast menu and I ordered some food. Yes, it’s the same menu as before. A short while later breakfast arrived and I shared part of this with Jen. They also took food orders for lunch and dinner. Overall, I was feeling pretty good one day post op. At this time, the BA & LP are tied for pain level which is about 4-5 with two perccoet every 3-4 hours. This was quite tolerable for now.

I have been in that bed since yesterday and HAD to get up for a short while. With Jen’s help, we took a short walk over to Amy’s room to see how she was doing. Trisha was there when we arrived and we chatted for just a moment when Debbie arrived, she was surprised to see me out of bed so soon and talking to Amy. It turns out, getting out of bed this early post PL is not a good idea and Debbie told me, “back to your bed!” We took a short walk back to my room and back in bed I went. I decided to write a bit on my notebook. Lunch arrived and when I opened the cover, it was a cheeseburger, coke and chips. This is a Jen meal, not something I would order. I told Jen pass on this and she should eat it. Jen wanted me to eat something, so we sort of split up the meal. It turns out she got my lunch and dinner menu mixed up. Our friend Terri called me on and asked if I wanted anything from Ranch 99. What an opportunity, I just had to have some roasted chestnuts and asked Terri to pick some if she can find them. Terri arrived a while later with two bags of roasted chestnuts and asked it we would like to join them for lunch on the patio. I told her no, as should stay in bed for now. She returned later with a plate of Chinese food, which I enjoyed and Jen found alien.

Time passed slowly while I lay in bed with an ice pack between my legs to reduce the swelling. Trisha and Amy stopped by to visit since this was Amy’s first day for a walk. We chatted for a bit, but noted Amy was getting a bit unstable, so it was back to her room for now. A little while later Terri brought over a slice of birthday cake. It turns out, Roberta who was the morning patient of my surgery date, had her real birthday today and she had an entire group of friends to be with her and support her during this process. With all the goings on in a near by room, I just had to stop by to say hello. While the crowd was just about to take a picture, Dr. Meltzer walks in. He looked at me and was wondering why I was not in bed. This opportunity does not happen often, so we took a group picture with Dr. Meltzer and Roberta in bed one day post op. I headed back to my bed after the photo. Dr. Meltzer arrived n my room to check on how I was doing. He had a look at my LP and while it was swollen, it appeared good. He wanted to look at my BA next. I asked him if he would unwrap me as the elastic bandage wrap was getting tiresome and restricting. He went off to get a pair of bandage scissors, I lay in a semi recline position and he snipped off the bandage, instant relief from that constriction with two cotton pads fall out and my nipple /areola covered with tape that has a opening for the nipple. Only the ends of the sutures are visible. The sutures appear to be under the skin.

I told him my nipples / breast sensitivity were OK and we were both relieved. He was a bit worried to ask, so I told him how my nipples felt before they were un wrapped. Once they were unwrapped, I had a better sense of how they really were. It turns out, they might be overly sensitive. We talked a bit about my BA. I asked him if he did anything different in my case and he said not really, he was just really careful with pocket dissection and encounter no nerves during the process. I shared my theory of me being on hormones for over 6 years might have made a difference since my muscle mass has completely changed and softened making the pocket dissection process easier, he agreed and mentioned that in FFS patients, the skin is quite different between those who have been on hormones for years compared to no hormones. It becomes much softer after a few years on hormone therapy. I think the risk for nerve damage during BA pocket dissection might be greater due to the bigger and stronger male pec muscle regardless of who the surgeon might be. A TG woman friend went to Thailand for FFS and BA, her surgeon refused to do sub muscular BA placement due to her pec muscle development and she got a sub glandular procedure. IMO, they don't look that great, but she is happy. In my case, push ups were easy for me to do years before my transition, now I cannot even do one. That was an eye opening discovery.

We went on to discuss breast massage. Dr. Meltzer gently pressed my implants towards the center and then from the top down. It was slightly painful but more uncomfortable and strange feeling than anything else. He showed Jen how to do this also, as this is going to be one of my post BA chores that she gets to do. I made a post-op exam appointment for later next week and they will remove the sutures then. With all this done, he headed off to check on his next patient.
RN Nancy appeared with my discharge instructions and had me sign them. She told me ring for help if you need it.

I got back in bed to rest while Jen watched TV for a bit. Dinner arrived and we shared the meal. When we were done with dinner, Jen got all of our stuff packed and moved down to the car. We walked over to say goodbye to Roberta and her group of friends. When this was done, Jen did not want me to be walking around anymore and got a wheel chair to wheel me around in, I said no, but she insisted. So I sat down and she wheeled me into Amy’s room to say goodbye. When we arrived Trisha was there too. We shared our warm goodbyes with Amy. She told us we are such a “cool couple”. I asked her why? Amy being a romantic told us that we have a nice warmth about us that is just nice to be around. She said many couples are not like this. We smiled and thanked her for the complement. Jen wheeled me down to the car and I got into the front passenger seat. We drove back to our B&B. I got into bed, tired from the events of the day and so relieved that my BA turned out the way it did.

BA & LP Surgery Day

Surgery Day
February 2, 2006

I woke up several time during the night thinking about what might happen and If I’m about to do something that I might regret. My last meal was 8:00 PM yesterday and after midnight, I’m not to have any food or drink. This is standard procedure for surgery prep. I finally got out of bed at just after 7:00 AM and Jen soon after. We did our usual morning routine of reading the news and taking one last shower. I packed a few overnight items for my over night stay at Greenbaum and we drove over to Greenbaum surgery center. We went up stairs to visit Amy and Trisha, It was post VAG day one for Amy. We spent a bit of time to chat as this is the first time I have met Trisha. We have emailed and yaked on the phone over the past few years. While this was our first face to face meeting, it was like getting together with old friends. Amy appeared to be doing well this morning. The clock showed it was time for me to sign in for my surgery date. After doing this a few times, you do get to know the routine. The receptionist recognized me and she signed me in. After a short wait, I got called by a clerk to verify my information and check me in.
More time passed and RN Kara called me in, my time is up. At first I did not remember her, but she did. She took my vitals and gave me a gown to change into. I got changed into the gown, put my stuff into a bag. Then one of the nurses braided my hair and we put all that hair into two hair caps. This is what I have done with my hair every time for surgery and it appears to work well. I followed her to stall# 9. RN Joan asked me some more questions about my general health. She gave me a pill to reduce my blood pressure and an anti clot injection. She also put on a pair of those calf compression stockings. RN Joan had problems installing the IV in my arm. She tried once in my hand, but got the IV into my arm. It turns out when you stress over getting this done, your veins drop making IV insertion difficult. One of the nursed went to call Jen who has been waiting for about an hour in the waiting area. Jen appeared and sat next to me while I waited for the next steps in this process to happen. Dr. Williams the gas passer stopped by to chat with me about today’s anesthesia plan and procedures. We discussed meds that he planned to use to day and questioned me about my health history. Once he was done with this, he went off to get the first set of meds for the process. Two of the OR nurses appeared and I remembered one of them, Cindy. They were concerned with how stressed I appeared and asked me why I’m so scared, I told them it was possibility of losing nipple / breast sensitivity from the BA. Cindy told me Dr. Meltzer did her BA two years ago and she has not had any problems or loss of nipple / breast sensitivity, very happy and I should be fine. Dr. Meltzer appeared and we talked about the procedures for today and my concerns were the same as we discussed pre-op and we talked about bicycles and cycling. My surgery time was near and Dr. Williams appeared with what he called, “liquid courage.” He injected the meds into my IV line and I was off to sleepy land just as they began to roll me out of stall# 9.

The next thing I remember was a nurse talking to me in the recovery room (PACU) and told me all went well and they are going to wheel me up stairs to room 11. My time in recovery was short, about one hour. Jen was waiting for me and watched as they got me set up. I was already semi awake and the pain was not excessive, about 5. During my pre-op discussions with Dr. Meltzer, I asked them for a PCA (patient controlled anesthesia) for me to use post-op.

I had one of these for the VAG last year, but did not use it much since the pain level was not very high. It turns out the PCA is a good idea for the BA as I used it much more than when I had the VAG. The pain never got greater than a 6 and when things began to hurt more, I would just push the PCA button and the relief was instant.

After settling down in my room, I was curious to find out what happened to my nipple sensitivity and it appeared to be OK both sides, similar to pre-op. I tried to feel for my nipple over the ace wrapping and cotton pad and I can easily locate both my nipples by touch. I was really relieved to learn this. I was semi awake the rest of the night. It’s been really dry in Scottsdale and that made my mouth and throat dry. I kept asking Jen for ice chips at first, but eventually moved on to drinking lots of water. I have not eaten anything since 8 PM yesterday night so I was pretty hungry. It was too late for Greenbaum food, but Jen brought a blueberry muffin and some soy, honey, sesame chips. These were not ideal but sure tasted good. Jen got a chance to chat with Dr. Meltzer about my surgery. My BA went easy, my pec muscles were quite soft and he had no problems separating it from my chest wall. I had no bruising post op. He stayed as far away from any nerves that might be involved with sensation and my implants were on the small side 275cc on both sides. According to Dr. Meltzer, this implant size would make me a ‘C’ cup. Dr. Meltzer told me I had “normal female” sized areolas, big nipples and good breast development. All these factors made doing BA procedure on me easier for both of us. They are pretty much what one would expect initially post-op, high, hard, swollen and painful. The labiaplasty was pretty much routine. He corrected all of the things we discussed pre-op. It’s no nearly as painful as the BA, but really swollen right now. I kept ice on this area for the entire time I was in bed.

Sleeping was difficult as the nurses come by every hour or two to take your vitals and the racket from the monitoring equipment added to the noise level. It was not a restful night, but I was so relieved to know my nipples are not numb and appear to have normal sensitivity for now. That was a huge weight lifted off my mind. The sleep I got was reduced to a bunch of short naps between being prodded by the nursing staff.

BA & LP Pre OP

February 1, 2006

I usually don’t sleep too well in a strange place and yesterday night was no exception. Adding to it all was my pre-op appointment tomorrow morning at Dr. Meltzer’s office. I’m writing this in the early morning while Jen is still sleeping. After over a year of debating, research, consultations and a lot of emotional events the time has come for me to deal with my surgery date tomorrow.

It was 6:30 AM when I finally got out of bed and began getting ready for the day ahead. Jen did not wake until later, but after she woke up at just after 7:00 AM, we did our usual routine and got ready to leave for my pre-op appointment with Dr. Meltzer at 9:30 AM. We left the B&B at quarter after 9:00 AM and arrived at Dr. Meltzer’s office slightly after 9:30 AM. We rang the door buzzer and Linda let us into the office. Linda asked me how I was doing and I told her, “not good.” And I shared with her how I felt about my surgery date tomorrow. She introduced me to her daughter who worked there part time. We were surprised to see Stephanie sitting in the waiting area. It’s been a long time since we met. We chatted for a bit to catch up on all that has happened since we last talked. She was here with Roberta who is scheduled for a VAG the morning of my surgery. Roberta was already doing her pre-op consultation with Dr. Meltzer when we arrived. More of Roberta’s friends arrived later that morning. Dr. Meltzer’s office was pretty busy, more so than from what I have observed in the past. They were running a bit late, but eventually, Debbie called my name and we followed her into one of the exam rooms. This was her first day back to work after her finger was surgically removed due to the continued problems of infection and other problems. This was another one of those problems that she has been dealing with since her BF Rocky was shot by her ex last year. Debbie was in surprisingly good spirits after all that has happened. Once we were in the exam room, Lindsay who is one of Dr. Meltzer’s nurses from the days when he was working in Oregon came in and went over some paper work with me. Dr. Meltzer arrived shortly after with that bright and cheerful charm. We spent a bit of time talking about cycling as we usually do and went on to discuss my pre-op stuff. After a year of discussing my concerns with BA, we both pretty much knew what my concerns were. We went on to discuss my concerns for labiaplasty and I asked for a sheet of paper to draw a sketch. I drew it reversed relative to what Dr. Meltzer was accustomed to seeing, but reversed the drawing so he could understand what I was trying to explain. On the drawing was a crude sketch of the bottom Vee where my sutures had split post VAG a year ago and while they have healed well, there is scar tissue there with some webbing that made accessing the vagina slightly more difficult. There were two JP drains that are placed in the labia post VAG and one of them healed OK, the other healed with a raised bump. The urine stream was slightly towards my right and the flow rate is modest but most of the time, it’s a downward flow rather than a stream. None of these are going to be a problem to fix during LP. As for the clitoral hooding, I just told Dr. Meltzer no to do anything that might affect its function. It’s bad enough with the concerns I have for BA, but having clitoral function affected is going to break me. While there are a number of surgeons who does a one stop VAG, I don’t believe you can consistently get good results due to the amount of surgery done in that area, healing varies among individuals, anatomy varies among individuals too. That is a lot to expect to go right for such an extensive surgery. Once my pre-op appointment was done, I carried my bag of post-op supplies with me to visit Carole to chat for a moment and schedule a post-op appointment for next week. We left Dr. Meltzer’s off and headed to Starbucks for Mocha and pastery. Jen & I sat around for a while to chat about the day ahead and enjoying the warm sunny day. Our next stop was Target to pick up toiletries and a few other related items for the days ahead. We stopped by the Greenbaum hotel to say hello to the nursing staff and visit Ericka who got her VAG done earlier this week and her friend Suzy to chat. We talked about her history T* and suzy about her M to F son. The time passed quickly and we needed to head over to Trader Joes to get food for the next few days. I got a dinner invitation call from Terri. She wanted us to join her for dinner at Picasso Pizza at 6:30 PM. Our schedule was tight, but do able if we did not stay out too late.

When we got back to our B&B after shopping at Trader Joes and put the food away. We both took a rest before heading out for our dinner date. I washed and conditioned my hair knowing I won’t be able to do this until a few days post-op.

We drove down Scottsdale Blvd to Picasso Pizza and had a nice dinner with Terri and Roberta’s friends who were in town to support her VAG journey. We left the restaurant at just after 8:00PM for our B&B. I wanted to go to bed early since there will be a long day for me tomorrow. I dilated one last time knowing I’m not going to be doing this until several days later. Tomorrow is surgery day.

Here We Go Again

January 31, 2006

The time has come for us to make our trip to Scottsdale for my surgery date this week. This will be our 6th trip there. The first time we made this trip was in 2004 to visit Amber when she got her VAG done at Greenbaum with Dr. Meltzer and Jen’s consultation. Phoenix was not a friendly place back then. We did not know where to go, had no friends and it was HOT during the month of July. Over the past few years, we have made friends there and learned where things are. It has become a much friendlier place and a place to explore the natural beauty found in the south west.

We spent the earlier part of this week cleaning house and getting things ready to go. Our bags are packed and travel arrangements are set. It seems everything is ready except me.

I did not sleep well last night, there is just so much on my mind right now. I’m worried about the scheduled breast aug, details that I need to discuss about labiaplasty, our kids, Blasi our parrot who is basically stuck in her cage until Jen’s brother comes to care for her, my project at work, and all the things related to our daily lives. A majority of my stress comes from not knowing what is going to happen to me post-op. Every time surgery happens, there are always things that can and do happen even under the best conditions and most skilled surgeons. It’s all part of the risk we take when we chose to do the things we do. Dr. Kay our surgeon friend told me years ago that surgery is like a Christmas present, you really don’t know what is inside until you open it.
I have been reading and corresponding with Nicole

http://nicolesnicheblog.blogspot.com/

and her spouse Michele

http://dgitaldiva.blogspot.com/ since late last year.

I found her blog one day when I was curious about others who made the same journey I did.
Michele wrote a really good observation of TS women in her January 26, 2006 blog entry and I think TS women and those related to them should take her observations with due consideration.

The bad news is what happened to Nicole post BA, she got what I fear most, post-op numb nipples on top of having a really difficult and painful first few days of post-op recovery. I hope things will improve and recover over time, but it is not comforting or reassuring to find this out from another who just had the same procedures I’m just about to get done.

With all my long winded words about BA, it’s time for me to discuss a bit about my concerns with labiaplasty. The things I’m concerned most that could happen during labiaplasty are anything that might affect clitoral function. The clitoris I ended up with post VAG works very well, it’s sensitivity is near identical to what I had before the VAG except all the sensitivity is concentrated in a small spot. I’m still amazed that the head of the penis can be reduced to a tiny fraction of its original size, have all of its erectile tissue removed, relocated to a different part of the body and retain the function it does. Losing what I have here would break me, but I have not heard of this happening during LP. My Clitoris is semi flat and recessed and generally not exposed so clitoral hooding is not that big of a problem for me. An improved clitoral hood is part of LP and it would be a good thing. Tissue death would be the next item of concern, yes this does happen due to the thinning and trimming of the labia-majoria during this procedure. There are other tissues that can die during this procedure requiring more surgery to correct problems from tissue death. I have some thick scar tissue in the area that split post VAG and some webbing in that area too. I’m pretty sure this can be addressed during LP. I don’t really have a urine stream problem, yes, it’s off to the right a bit and the flow rate could be higher, but for me as long as the steam is not going over the rim and flow rate is reasonable, I’m OK with the way things are now. The urine stream direction has changed over the past year and I believe it has finally settled to where it is now. Any corrections are made to this area should be more predictable than it they were made 3 months post VAG. I don’t have a lot of labia-majoria asymmetry. All the swelling from the VAG done a year ago is gone. Yes, there is some, but not enough for me to be really concerned with. I would not have guessed my results would look this way during those first few days post-op.

In many ways, LP is really a cosmetic improvement for me than a procedure that is required. A few of my friends are really concerned with how their Labia looks post-op, they have specific ideas of what they want and their labia to look like, I’m just not that concerned with this. There is a huge variation of what the labia and vulva looks like in natal females and it changes with age and child birth. This is a part of one’s anatomy that does not get constant visual attention and function is far more important to me than appearance. Since I’m going to be one year post op I can skip dilating for a while until the edges of the labia are healed enough and reduce the pain of dilating with healing tissues.

I have been up since 4:30 AM this morning for a trip to the bathroom. I went back to bed, but did not sleep well at all. The image, thoughts, worries and anticipation of what is ahead continues to roll around my mind. There are just so many what “if_s” for me this time that was of no real concern for my previous surgery date. I just wanted to get the surgery done and over with regardless of what would happen. This time, I’m just not looking forward to what is ahead for me to deal with. My previous surgery was not elective, this time, it really is elective and I’m still wondering if I’m about to do something that I’m going to regret. Happy or heart broken, it’s just too soon to tell. Eventually, I got out of bed around 6:30 AM and just wrote and spent time doing stuff on my note book.

Jen got up at just after 7:30 AM, came over wondering what I have been doing and gave me a hug. We did our usual morning routine of coffee, Jen reading the news paper and me answering email and reading the news on the web. As the time passed, I took a shower and did my usual morning routine, finished packing while Jen got ready for our day ahead. Blasi was out of her cage earlier than usual, but as the clock reached 10:30 AM, it was time for her to be back in her cage. The cab I reserved arrived a few minutes early, such a contrast to the airport shuttle that was over 20 minutes late our last trip to Scottsdale.

The cab ride to SJC was totally uneventful and traffic was very light mid morning. SWA curbside check went smooth and the security check in was easier than the last time we went to Scottsdale for Jen’s LP. We had lots of time to spend since our flight was still 2 hours away. Jen got a Mocha and I got a Hot Chocolate from Starbucks. We are just sitting around SJC waiting for our flight to depart.

Our flight to PHX was pretty much uneventful and right on time. Once we arrived and got our baggage, we went looking to the rental car place only to discover they moved it all to a central location. You take shuttle bus to the centralized rental car place to pick up your car. We have no problems picking up the rental car from AVIS, but that was all about to change. Our drive to Scottsdale turned out to be a nightmare. First we got lost due to the relocated rental car place and to make thing worst, we got stuck in rush hour traffic. We were trying to figure out how to get to FWY 101, but wound up on 17N, exiting on Thomas street then on to 19th which had broken traffic lights. It took us nearly 1.5 hours to get to Scottsdale via this round about way.
I had planned to meet Amy at the Hotel while she was doing her VAG pre-op stuff, but had to find the B&B where we stayed before heading over there. We planned to meet my sis in phoenix for dinner that evening too. Every thing was so rushed to get done. We eventually arrived at our B&B which had an old car theme decorated with lots of interesting antique items. Jen wanted to get some thing to drink at Trader Joes, but I nixed that idea due to the lack of time. When we got to our B&B there was some fresh squeezed orange juice in the fridge and muffins on the table. We had a quick snack and the Inn keeper arrived to greet us. We did not spend much time to talk since we were on such a tight schedule. Our next stop was to visit Amy at the hotel. It was a short drive to Amy’s hotel and found her room on the second floor. While we have emailed each other in the past, this is the first time we actually met. I really wanted to spend some time with Amy before her surgery since I have no idea how we are going to be like post op. It was a short but enjoyable meeting with time for a few photos. I called my sis in PHX to let her know we are going to be late for dinner. We said our goodbyes and wished Amy well on her surgery the next day.

Jen and I began our trip over to my sis home for dinner. When we arrived, she greeted us with a warm hello and it was such a nice way to unwind from all that happened on this day.
She had Chinese food waiting for us and much to my surprise, Michael Franks playing on the music system. I have not heard Michael Franks in years. We chatted about recent events and our days ahead and when dinner was done, I got a chance to listen to Michael Franks ‘Tiger in the Rain’ o vinyl. That is one of my MF favorites and brought back many memories while we listened.

It was getting late and time for us to head back to our B&B to get rested for my pre-op appointment tomorrow morning. We took a few photos and shared our warm goodbyes as we began our drive back to the B&B.

I got ready for bed while Jen watched TV for a while. Once we got in bed, she wanted to watch some stuff on DVD, but I was simply too tired for this and went nighty night.