Here We Go Again
January 31, 2006
The time has come for us to make our trip to Scottsdale for my surgery date this week. This will be our 6th trip there. The first time we made this trip was in 2004 to visit Amber when she got her VAG done at Greenbaum with Dr. Meltzer and Jen’s consultation. Phoenix was not a friendly place back then. We did not know where to go, had no friends and it was HOT during the month of July. Over the past few years, we have made friends there and learned where things are. It has become a much friendlier place and a place to explore the natural beauty found in the south west.
We spent the earlier part of this week cleaning house and getting things ready to go. Our bags are packed and travel arrangements are set. It seems everything is ready except me.
I did not sleep well last night, there is just so much on my mind right now. I’m worried about the scheduled breast aug, details that I need to discuss about labiaplasty, our kids, Blasi our parrot who is basically stuck in her cage until Jen’s brother comes to care for her, my project at work, and all the things related to our daily lives. A majority of my stress comes from not knowing what is going to happen to me post-op. Every time surgery happens, there are always things that can and do happen even under the best conditions and most skilled surgeons. It’s all part of the risk we take when we chose to do the things we do. Dr. Kay our surgeon friend told me years ago that surgery is like a Christmas present, you really don’t know what is inside until you open it.
I have been reading and corresponding with Nicole
http://nicolesnicheblog.blogspot.com/
and her spouse Michele
http://dgitaldiva.blogspot.com/ since late last year.
I found her blog one day when I was curious about others who made the same journey I did.
Michele wrote a really good observation of TS women in her January 26, 2006 blog entry and I think TS women and those related to them should take her observations with due consideration.
The bad news is what happened to Nicole post BA, she got what I fear most, post-op numb nipples on top of having a really difficult and painful first few days of post-op recovery. I hope things will improve and recover over time, but it is not comforting or reassuring to find this out from another who just had the same procedures I’m just about to get done.
With all my long winded words about BA, it’s time for me to discuss a bit about my concerns with labiaplasty. The things I’m concerned most that could happen during labiaplasty are anything that might affect clitoral function. The clitoris I ended up with post VAG works very well, it’s sensitivity is near identical to what I had before the VAG except all the sensitivity is concentrated in a small spot. I’m still amazed that the head of the penis can be reduced to a tiny fraction of its original size, have all of its erectile tissue removed, relocated to a different part of the body and retain the function it does. Losing what I have here would break me, but I have not heard of this happening during LP. My Clitoris is semi flat and recessed and generally not exposed so clitoral hooding is not that big of a problem for me. An improved clitoral hood is part of LP and it would be a good thing. Tissue death would be the next item of concern, yes this does happen due to the thinning and trimming of the labia-majoria during this procedure. There are other tissues that can die during this procedure requiring more surgery to correct problems from tissue death. I have some thick scar tissue in the area that split post VAG and some webbing in that area too. I’m pretty sure this can be addressed during LP. I don’t really have a urine stream problem, yes, it’s off to the right a bit and the flow rate could be higher, but for me as long as the steam is not going over the rim and flow rate is reasonable, I’m OK with the way things are now. The urine stream direction has changed over the past year and I believe it has finally settled to where it is now. Any corrections are made to this area should be more predictable than it they were made 3 months post VAG. I don’t have a lot of labia-majoria asymmetry. All the swelling from the VAG done a year ago is gone. Yes, there is some, but not enough for me to be really concerned with. I would not have guessed my results would look this way during those first few days post-op.
In many ways, LP is really a cosmetic improvement for me than a procedure that is required. A few of my friends are really concerned with how their Labia looks post-op, they have specific ideas of what they want and their labia to look like, I’m just not that concerned with this. There is a huge variation of what the labia and vulva looks like in natal females and it changes with age and child birth. This is a part of one’s anatomy that does not get constant visual attention and function is far more important to me than appearance. Since I’m going to be one year post op I can skip dilating for a while until the edges of the labia are healed enough and reduce the pain of dilating with healing tissues.
I have been up since 4:30 AM this morning for a trip to the bathroom. I went back to bed, but did not sleep well at all. The image, thoughts, worries and anticipation of what is ahead continues to roll around my mind. There are just so many what “if_s” for me this time that was of no real concern for my previous surgery date. I just wanted to get the surgery done and over with regardless of what would happen. This time, I’m just not looking forward to what is ahead for me to deal with. My previous surgery was not elective, this time, it really is elective and I’m still wondering if I’m about to do something that I’m going to regret. Happy or heart broken, it’s just too soon to tell. Eventually, I got out of bed around 6:30 AM and just wrote and spent time doing stuff on my note book.
Jen got up at just after 7:30 AM, came over wondering what I have been doing and gave me a hug. We did our usual morning routine of coffee, Jen reading the news paper and me answering email and reading the news on the web. As the time passed, I took a shower and did my usual morning routine, finished packing while Jen got ready for our day ahead. Blasi was out of her cage earlier than usual, but as the clock reached 10:30 AM, it was time for her to be back in her cage. The cab I reserved arrived a few minutes early, such a contrast to the airport shuttle that was over 20 minutes late our last trip to Scottsdale.
The cab ride to SJC was totally uneventful and traffic was very light mid morning. SWA curbside check went smooth and the security check in was easier than the last time we went to Scottsdale for Jen’s LP. We had lots of time to spend since our flight was still 2 hours away. Jen got a Mocha and I got a Hot Chocolate from Starbucks. We are just sitting around SJC waiting for our flight to depart.
Our flight to PHX was pretty much uneventful and right on time. Once we arrived and got our baggage, we went looking to the rental car place only to discover they moved it all to a central location. You take shuttle bus to the centralized rental car place to pick up your car. We have no problems picking up the rental car from AVIS, but that was all about to change. Our drive to Scottsdale turned out to be a nightmare. First we got lost due to the relocated rental car place and to make thing worst, we got stuck in rush hour traffic. We were trying to figure out how to get to FWY 101, but wound up on 17N, exiting on Thomas street then on to 19th which had broken traffic lights. It took us nearly 1.5 hours to get to Scottsdale via this round about way.
I had planned to meet Amy at the Hotel while she was doing her VAG pre-op stuff, but had to find the B&B where we stayed before heading over there. We planned to meet my sis in phoenix for dinner that evening too. Every thing was so rushed to get done. We eventually arrived at our B&B which had an old car theme decorated with lots of interesting antique items. Jen wanted to get some thing to drink at Trader Joes, but I nixed that idea due to the lack of time. When we got to our B&B there was some fresh squeezed orange juice in the fridge and muffins on the table. We had a quick snack and the Inn keeper arrived to greet us. We did not spend much time to talk since we were on such a tight schedule. Our next stop was to visit Amy at the hotel. It was a short drive to Amy’s hotel and found her room on the second floor. While we have emailed each other in the past, this is the first time we actually met. I really wanted to spend some time with Amy before her surgery since I have no idea how we are going to be like post op. It was a short but enjoyable meeting with time for a few photos. I called my sis in PHX to let her know we are going to be late for dinner. We said our goodbyes and wished Amy well on her surgery the next day.
Jen and I began our trip over to my sis home for dinner. When we arrived, she greeted us with a warm hello and it was such a nice way to unwind from all that happened on this day.
She had Chinese food waiting for us and much to my surprise, Michael Franks playing on the music system. I have not heard Michael Franks in years. We chatted about recent events and our days ahead and when dinner was done, I got a chance to listen to Michael Franks ‘Tiger in the Rain’ o vinyl. That is one of my MF favorites and brought back many memories while we listened.
It was getting late and time for us to head back to our B&B to get rested for my pre-op appointment tomorrow morning. We took a few photos and shared our warm goodbyes as we began our drive back to the B&B.
I got ready for bed while Jen watched TV for a while. Once we got in bed, she wanted to watch some stuff on DVD, but I was simply too tired for this and went nighty night.
The time has come for us to make our trip to Scottsdale for my surgery date this week. This will be our 6th trip there. The first time we made this trip was in 2004 to visit Amber when she got her VAG done at Greenbaum with Dr. Meltzer and Jen’s consultation. Phoenix was not a friendly place back then. We did not know where to go, had no friends and it was HOT during the month of July. Over the past few years, we have made friends there and learned where things are. It has become a much friendlier place and a place to explore the natural beauty found in the south west.
We spent the earlier part of this week cleaning house and getting things ready to go. Our bags are packed and travel arrangements are set. It seems everything is ready except me.
I did not sleep well last night, there is just so much on my mind right now. I’m worried about the scheduled breast aug, details that I need to discuss about labiaplasty, our kids, Blasi our parrot who is basically stuck in her cage until Jen’s brother comes to care for her, my project at work, and all the things related to our daily lives. A majority of my stress comes from not knowing what is going to happen to me post-op. Every time surgery happens, there are always things that can and do happen even under the best conditions and most skilled surgeons. It’s all part of the risk we take when we chose to do the things we do. Dr. Kay our surgeon friend told me years ago that surgery is like a Christmas present, you really don’t know what is inside until you open it.
I have been reading and corresponding with Nicole
http://nicolesnicheblog.blogspot.com/
and her spouse Michele
http://dgitaldiva.blogspot.com/ since late last year.
I found her blog one day when I was curious about others who made the same journey I did.
Michele wrote a really good observation of TS women in her January 26, 2006 blog entry and I think TS women and those related to them should take her observations with due consideration.
The bad news is what happened to Nicole post BA, she got what I fear most, post-op numb nipples on top of having a really difficult and painful first few days of post-op recovery. I hope things will improve and recover over time, but it is not comforting or reassuring to find this out from another who just had the same procedures I’m just about to get done.
With all my long winded words about BA, it’s time for me to discuss a bit about my concerns with labiaplasty. The things I’m concerned most that could happen during labiaplasty are anything that might affect clitoral function. The clitoris I ended up with post VAG works very well, it’s sensitivity is near identical to what I had before the VAG except all the sensitivity is concentrated in a small spot. I’m still amazed that the head of the penis can be reduced to a tiny fraction of its original size, have all of its erectile tissue removed, relocated to a different part of the body and retain the function it does. Losing what I have here would break me, but I have not heard of this happening during LP. My Clitoris is semi flat and recessed and generally not exposed so clitoral hooding is not that big of a problem for me. An improved clitoral hood is part of LP and it would be a good thing. Tissue death would be the next item of concern, yes this does happen due to the thinning and trimming of the labia-majoria during this procedure. There are other tissues that can die during this procedure requiring more surgery to correct problems from tissue death. I have some thick scar tissue in the area that split post VAG and some webbing in that area too. I’m pretty sure this can be addressed during LP. I don’t really have a urine stream problem, yes, it’s off to the right a bit and the flow rate could be higher, but for me as long as the steam is not going over the rim and flow rate is reasonable, I’m OK with the way things are now. The urine stream direction has changed over the past year and I believe it has finally settled to where it is now. Any corrections are made to this area should be more predictable than it they were made 3 months post VAG. I don’t have a lot of labia-majoria asymmetry. All the swelling from the VAG done a year ago is gone. Yes, there is some, but not enough for me to be really concerned with. I would not have guessed my results would look this way during those first few days post-op.
In many ways, LP is really a cosmetic improvement for me than a procedure that is required. A few of my friends are really concerned with how their Labia looks post-op, they have specific ideas of what they want and their labia to look like, I’m just not that concerned with this. There is a huge variation of what the labia and vulva looks like in natal females and it changes with age and child birth. This is a part of one’s anatomy that does not get constant visual attention and function is far more important to me than appearance. Since I’m going to be one year post op I can skip dilating for a while until the edges of the labia are healed enough and reduce the pain of dilating with healing tissues.
I have been up since 4:30 AM this morning for a trip to the bathroom. I went back to bed, but did not sleep well at all. The image, thoughts, worries and anticipation of what is ahead continues to roll around my mind. There are just so many what “if_s” for me this time that was of no real concern for my previous surgery date. I just wanted to get the surgery done and over with regardless of what would happen. This time, I’m just not looking forward to what is ahead for me to deal with. My previous surgery was not elective, this time, it really is elective and I’m still wondering if I’m about to do something that I’m going to regret. Happy or heart broken, it’s just too soon to tell. Eventually, I got out of bed around 6:30 AM and just wrote and spent time doing stuff on my note book.
Jen got up at just after 7:30 AM, came over wondering what I have been doing and gave me a hug. We did our usual morning routine of coffee, Jen reading the news paper and me answering email and reading the news on the web. As the time passed, I took a shower and did my usual morning routine, finished packing while Jen got ready for our day ahead. Blasi was out of her cage earlier than usual, but as the clock reached 10:30 AM, it was time for her to be back in her cage. The cab I reserved arrived a few minutes early, such a contrast to the airport shuttle that was over 20 minutes late our last trip to Scottsdale.
The cab ride to SJC was totally uneventful and traffic was very light mid morning. SWA curbside check went smooth and the security check in was easier than the last time we went to Scottsdale for Jen’s LP. We had lots of time to spend since our flight was still 2 hours away. Jen got a Mocha and I got a Hot Chocolate from Starbucks. We are just sitting around SJC waiting for our flight to depart.
Our flight to PHX was pretty much uneventful and right on time. Once we arrived and got our baggage, we went looking to the rental car place only to discover they moved it all to a central location. You take shuttle bus to the centralized rental car place to pick up your car. We have no problems picking up the rental car from AVIS, but that was all about to change. Our drive to Scottsdale turned out to be a nightmare. First we got lost due to the relocated rental car place and to make thing worst, we got stuck in rush hour traffic. We were trying to figure out how to get to FWY 101, but wound up on 17N, exiting on Thomas street then on to 19th which had broken traffic lights. It took us nearly 1.5 hours to get to Scottsdale via this round about way.
I had planned to meet Amy at the Hotel while she was doing her VAG pre-op stuff, but had to find the B&B where we stayed before heading over there. We planned to meet my sis in phoenix for dinner that evening too. Every thing was so rushed to get done. We eventually arrived at our B&B which had an old car theme decorated with lots of interesting antique items. Jen wanted to get some thing to drink at Trader Joes, but I nixed that idea due to the lack of time. When we got to our B&B there was some fresh squeezed orange juice in the fridge and muffins on the table. We had a quick snack and the Inn keeper arrived to greet us. We did not spend much time to talk since we were on such a tight schedule. Our next stop was to visit Amy at the hotel. It was a short drive to Amy’s hotel and found her room on the second floor. While we have emailed each other in the past, this is the first time we actually met. I really wanted to spend some time with Amy before her surgery since I have no idea how we are going to be like post op. It was a short but enjoyable meeting with time for a few photos. I called my sis in PHX to let her know we are going to be late for dinner. We said our goodbyes and wished Amy well on her surgery the next day.
Jen and I began our trip over to my sis home for dinner. When we arrived, she greeted us with a warm hello and it was such a nice way to unwind from all that happened on this day.
She had Chinese food waiting for us and much to my surprise, Michael Franks playing on the music system. I have not heard Michael Franks in years. We chatted about recent events and our days ahead and when dinner was done, I got a chance to listen to Michael Franks ‘Tiger in the Rain’ o vinyl. That is one of my MF favorites and brought back many memories while we listened.
It was getting late and time for us to head back to our B&B to get rested for my pre-op appointment tomorrow morning. We took a few photos and shared our warm goodbyes as we began our drive back to the B&B.
I got ready for bed while Jen watched TV for a while. Once we got in bed, she wanted to watch some stuff on DVD, but I was simply too tired for this and went nighty night.
posted by Rupunzell | 6:31 AM
2 Comments:
I certainly hope all went well for you yesterday and that Jen is taking good care of you! The first few days are the worst; for you it will involve some pain and discomfort, and for Jen it will most likely be boredom and concern for you.
I wanted to add a few comments about your comment regarding Nicole. You talked about the bad news about what happened to her and post-op numb nipples. I thought it was a little bit misleading. She had a little feeling as soon as the bandages came off the day after surgery. Not much, but a little. The feeling came back little by little. Today it's still not 100%, but it is more than a few weeks ago. The point is that loss of feeling is NORMAL right after BA surgery and (according to Meltzer) more than 85% experience a return of feeling within 6 months after surgery. I just didn't want people to get the wrong idea about this and think that feeling has to come back right away or that just because there is some numbness after surgery it means feeling will never come back. That's usually not the case.
Hugs!
Michele
http://dgitaldiva.blogspot.com/
PS - Thanx for the kind words about my blog!! :-)
I'd like to clarify, too. 2+ weeks after BA with Dr. M I have areas across my breast and areola of greater and lesser feeling but no areas that are completely numb. Most areas are no where near 100%. Overall my left breast has better feeling than my right breast with my right areola being fairly dull.
I hope your first days are less of a drug induced blur than my were.
Gently hugs,
Nicole
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