Looking Back

January 18, 2007

It has been an eventful year for me. About 12 months ago, we were getting ready for our trip back to Scottsdale for my hopefully last surgery date. I was so stressed over the procedures scheduled, but in the end, it all worked out better than expected. Since then, my recovery had been complete with no significant problems. I’m really happy that part of my journey is done for now. During the summer and fall, I finally got back to some where closer to my normal fitness level and body weight which was a really good thing as all those surgical procedures requires more time for recovery than one might expect. I had a physical with my regular doc during the late fall and all is very well. I get my girl exam with my gyno each spring and I can’t say I’m looking forward to it.

My mom was diagnosed with cancer during the summer of 2006, she had surgery and a course of chemo. All appeared well for months after her last chemo treatment. I continued to visit her as often as possible as there is no prediction of how much longer she will be with us. Over the days, weeks and months of my visits with her, I have come to understand and appreciated what my mom and dad have given me over the years. It is un-escapable that much of my compassion, stubbornness, passion and so many other aspects of mom's personality has become part of who I am today. If not for our parents giving us the gift of life, all of our life’s experiences, be they good or bad exist due to them blessing us with the gift of life. In return, we carry part of their personality and DNA with us. What we inherit from our parent’s personalities is tempered with our own personalities and who we are in this world. One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is allowing them to discover and truly to be who they really are in this world with their love and support.

My dad continues to care for mom, he is also I his 80’s, but in far better physical condition. My relationship with dad has been a rocky one. He was an only child, spoiled from his father who owned a bar in the US during the early part of this century and sent money back to him in China. He drank too much, womanized, gambled, and lived a life I would never consider. This and a host of other reasons are part of why I never really emotionally connected with my dad during much of my youth. So much has changed since then, in many ways, mom’s current health condition has changed him. I think after my dad watched mom’s condition progress the way it has over these past few years, it has taught him compassion and what it means to love and be loved by others. We have shared more conversations than anytime in our history these days when I visit them. I hug my folks a lot these days. There will be a time when they will both be gone and I’m going to miss them both terribly. Losing your parents is never easy no matter how they might have treated you in the past. Just like one’s children, letting go of the ones you love most is never easy.

Jen and I continue to share the things we enjoy, cycling together, cooking, working on our cars, watching TV and the list goes on. It is amazing to think we have been together for nearly 7 years now. While we began as just friends, either one of us ever expected or predicted that we would be where we are today. Recently a few of my friends have found their soul mate too. One of them got engaged on new years eve, much to her surprise. It was only a short time ago when my friends felt love would never come their way, but love discovered them when they least expected it to happen. I’m so happy for them :)

Back in November, Loreena McKennitt finally released a new recording, “An Ancient Muse” after nearly 10 years. I got that recording once it was available. My discovery of her music happened one day while listening to the radio during the morning drive, a song came on the radio like none I have ever heard and the voice and music totally caught my attention. I had to find out who this artist was; it turned out to be Loreena McKennitt. That was in 2004. Since then, I have purchased every one of her recordings and listen to her all the time. In all my years of involvement with music, I have never been so smitten by any artist or musician or composer. Over the years, I have played a good number of musical instruments, including classical guitar, learned much about music theory, sang in a choir, and listened to just about every kind of music from classics to jazz to pop to anything that sounded interesting, except for what I discovered in Loreena’s music. It is simply different from anything I have experienced before in such a positive way.

After spending much time listening to An Ancient Muse, I decided to try and learn more about Loreena. It turns out her music reflect much of her values in life. It is one thing to be a talented and successful musician, it is totally different when you run a recording label, find time to purchase, help preserve, restore an old school house slated to be torn down and turn it into a community family center, support a water rescue organization, help with aspiring young musical talents, be awarded three honorary doctorate degrees and the order of Canada award and more.

While browsing the Quinlan Road web page one day, there was a section where Loreena talks about herself: http://www.quinlanroad.com/aboutus/lmintro.asp at the end of the story, she states a number of her values and principles in life and I was surprise to find so many of them mirror my own. I’m sure these are some of the reasons why her music made such a connection with me.