Post-Op Day 2

February 3, 2005
Post Op Day 2
First day out of bed and took a short walk

Nancy was my nurse for today. This is the day when I get out of bed and try to take a short walk. I did not sleep all that well yesterday night due to a noisy IV pump that was still plugged in, but not used. I got up during the wee hours in the morning and spent some time putting up pictures on my yahoo picture page. I was still not able to write due to the IV stem in my left wrist. After doing this for a while, I got tried of doing pictures and tried to get some more rest. My slumber was light, but better than nothing. At some where around 7:00 AM, Jen woke up and came over to say good morning. I’m surprised at how well Jen has been sleeping here even with all the noise and lumpy hard recliner. One of the problems with me sleeping here is my body position in bed. I’m kind of stuck laying on my back with my legs apart due to all the stuff in the middle. It’s just not my usual sleeping position and adds to my problem of sleeping here. I can’t say the hospital beds are comfy either. While you can adjust them in many ways, the foam cushioning is not great.

Day two is bladder training day and try and get out of bed day. When you have a Foley catheter installed draining all the urine from your bladder, your body tends to forget how to deal with a full bladder and you need to get it used to being filled and emptied again. The process is pretty simple. You cap off your Foley catheter with a tapered cap and allow your bladder to fill up and empty it after a while when it’s feels full. You cap off for about 90 minutes or so then you empty it. One thing you learn fast is how sensitive your bladder is to changes in pressure. The first time I capped off and drained it too fast, OUCH. I’m not going to do that again. Nancy came by and gave me a catheter cap and I remember well doing this routine with Jen, so she had no problem with just giving me the caps. I also got Nancy to remove the IV stem from my wrist so I can write in my journal again. I was happy about being able to type again. Janet from Dr.Meltzer’s office came by and wanted me to show her I could do it, but since I just did this a moment ago, I was not too keen on doing this again. I carefully showed Janet that I know how to get this done and she appeared satisfied with what I was doing. I remember Jen telling me what it felt like when you let the urine drain out too fast and now I know what it feels like. Capping off also means being able to get out of bed. Bryna, one of Dr. Meltzer’s patients from last week who came by to say hello and chat yesterday afternoon (yea, we talked for over an hour about out lives) told me today is her last day here before heading back to Connecticut. She had some flowers in a vase left over as a gift and wanted to give them to me. I smiled and gladly accepted them and thanked her for the gift. They really help to brighten up my room. Nancy came by later to help me get out of bed for the first time. The first thing to come off were the compression cuffs on my calf muscles to prevent DVT when you have been stuck in bed for an extended time. Then came capping off the Foley and finally working your way out of bed. I was pretty excited about finally being able to get out of bed after being stuck there for the past few days. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and carefully tried to get out of bed with two blood drain bottles, the Foley hanging from my tummy via tape, the hospital gown that got in the way and still weak from the stress of surgery. I made my way out of bed OK. I felt the need to go potty too, so the first stop was the potty. I tried to get a BM gently but nothing but gas came out. I was not willing to try hard due the possibility of tearing sutures. This also gave me the chance to change my pad. I was still dripping and spotting quite a bit. The next place I wanted to go to was visiting my neighbor who was Dr. Meltzer’s morning patient. I made it over there OK and chatted only a few words, but I suddenly felt dizzy and almost passed out. Jen and Nancy caught me just in time before I hit the floor. One of them got a wheel chair and I was just able to sit down.

I was drenched in sweat after this. Jen and Nancy got my sweat soaked gown off to help me cool off. Nancy got me a cold towel for my forehead and that helped. They wheeled me back to my room next door. I spent some time sitting there to recover from what just happened. After a several minutes, I was recovered enough to get back into my bed with a new gown. I decided to rest in bed for a while before trying that again. Jen and Nancy got me some stuff to eat since I have not had breakfast yet. Some food and some rest made me feel better in short time. I decided to stay in bed to do some writing and bladder train. Jen went back to the holiday Inn for a short while to take care of some personal stuff while. I rested in bed writing and did bladder training. Jen got back after our lunch arrived. I waited for her return and we had lunch together. I tried to take a walk again after lunch, this time, I was far more careful and was able to make it to the nurses station and back to my room without any incidents. It was now mid afternoon and I decided to take a nap for a while since Jen wanted to head back to the holiday Inn for a short while. After my nap, I got up and did some more writing and began to think about all that has happened over the past few days. Jen brought over the box Trisha sent me and I finally figured out the contents. The spices go to Linda at Dr. Meltzer’s office. I was confused about this the first time I opened the package. When Debbie or Janet or Cheryl or Dr. Meltzer comes by I will get them to take the bag of goodies to Linda. I should also mention Ranch 99 is on 44^th. street in Phoenix. She sent me the following; one Pucca doll that is just the cutest thing, a box of, “It’s a girl mints.”, and what touched me most was a card with the following words,

**JOY**

“Hi Bernice, Congratulations Sis! Everyone on the ATGN has you in their hearts and are wishing you only the best for a speedy recovery. Besides our special bond as Asian TS gals, we now share a bond as Meltzer girls too. It’s so cool that you have some one like Jen to love and support you. We all would like to have a relationship that you to have together. Enjoy the experience. It’s so wonderful to be living a life that we have dreamed about for so many years, Love Trisha.”

When I finished reading that card, the tears began to pour out of my eyes and it went on for quite a while. My date with Dr. Meltzer would not have been possible without Jen in many ways. That card encapsulated so many emotions I have been dealing with over these past few days. I tend to keep cards for a very, very long time and this will be another that will be added to my collection. Thank you Trisha, for you have touched me in a way that is special. I hope one day we can meet instead of just chatting on the phone or email.

Jen and I sat down together and had dinner together. After dinner we went for another walk down the hall. To the same place in the hallway we went this afternoon during my second walk.

Just before 7:00 PM Dr. Meltzer came by to see how I was doing. A quick look at my surgical site and he smiled with approval. I asked him why my results looked a bit different than Jen’s. He told me that each patient tends to be different in various ways and in my case the clitoris is not visible since it was hidden by the labia that are still sutured together. That means my clitoris is covered for now. I was thinking, if that clitoris is this sensitive now, it’s going to be a real problem when it’s exposed. In the next few days when the labia sutures are removed and we will find out how much of a problem will be.

When I asked him about the specifics of my procedure, he began to explain it to me, but again the words were a problem for me, so I asked him to draw me a picture. I got a pen and paper and he drew out what was done in my case. He told me that each case is different in some way and this is what makes this procedure technically interesting and challenging for him. Several years ago when I had an orchiectomy done, I was really concerned that it might be a problem when I get vaginoplasty done. I spent a fair amount of time and effort to research this to make sure it was not going to be a problem, and sure enough, it was not an issue at all. Getting an orchiectomy done several years earlier allowed me to deal with the legal aspect of my transition like getting my sex designator changed on my passport and etc. I also allowed me to figure out what mix of hormones works best for me and my feminization from hormones was better. So, in some ways, it was OK, but it really did not fix the physical incongruity problem I continued to struggle with for the next few years. We went on to chat about bicycle stuff, coffee and a few other things. We ended our chat and he went on to see his next patient. I’m going to keep that drawing Dr. Meltzer made for me as part of my stuff from this experience. Tomorrow the blood drains should be removed and I get my injection of Delestrogen (estradiol valerate, 30mg /14-21 days) and begin taking prometrium (200-400mg daily) again. Being back on hormones is going to be a very welcomed thing for me after being off them for a while as part of the prep for surgery.

I spent the rest of the evening doing bladder training, writing in my journal and watching TV with Jen. We went to sleep at just after 11:00 PM.