On Babies, Marriage & Relationships

January 23, 2005

Zack was born this morning around 4:00 AM, The mom is our sister in law, Kellie. We went to her baby shower last Sunday and many of us were guessing when baby will arrive. They were planning to induce labor on January 26, 2005. Guess there is no need to do that procedure now that Zack has arrived. Thinking back, so much has happened during the last part of this year. Jen and I going off to Scottsdale for her date with Dr. Meltzer, the death of Jen’s mom, all the holiday celebrations, and my date with Dr. Meltzer in about a week’s time.

Reading the news today, there were more and more stories regarding transsexual individuals and marriage. I’m deeply saddened to see transfolk dragged into the whole “same sex marriage” mess. In their effort for define marriage as only between a “man & woman” they are totally ignoring every bit of scientific fact regarding the spectrum of human complexity. It is impossible to define every individual human being as clearly man or woman. Beyond those who are transgender / transsexual, there are those who are born intersex. There are about 1 in 300 births that have some degree of variation from the expected male / female norm. They also have no concept of the difference between sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression and physical genitalia. All of which are separate aspects of an individual. Most individuals are born congruent, but many are not. They are basing their beliefs on an ideal image of them selves where there are no differences in humanity.

I’m not at all surprised by this as religion and science has never gotten along very well over the since their beginnings in time. It took the Vatican about 400 years to admit they were wrong in judging Galileo’s discoveries and writings regarding the sky, space and planets. Change is possible, but for them, it takes an amazingly long time to come to terms with reality and the natural world.

What is most disturbing with all the stuff coming from the conservative Christian’s use of fear and mis-information to get their way. It is their form of propaganda. One of the basic rules of propaganda is to tell what you want the public to believe over and over again until it becomes fact. The real facts can then be ignored since only what the public knows becomes the facts. They claim legalizing same sex marriage, homosexuality and etc will become the destruction of society as we know it and humanity will burn in hell forever with never ending human suffering, pretty scary eh... The facts are, the bible they so highly value is a re-written version of the old testament and it was originally written in a totally different source language. It has been interpreted into English by more than one individual. So much for, "The Direct Words of GOD.” As anyone who is fluent in more than one language knows, you cannot translate without some degree of interpretation. There is also the whole problem of interpreting what is written. History has proven that interpretations of these writings are a reflection based on the political climate of the time and social /moral views. The old testament was based on a set of scrolls that no one appears to have ever seen before. When you start looking at this very, very carefully, the entire basic foundation is questionable. I honestly feel they are using the bible to support their beliefs and doing all they can to get everyone to think, believe, and feel they way they do. It comes down to a power and control issue. It’s also why children get dragged into all of this mess too. The question must be asked, why are some individuals so fearful of those who are different from them be it homosexuality, trans, intersex, historic origins, deferring set of beliefs or morals, and etc. Why are they so bent on forcing their values and beliefs upon those who different than themselves. Do they feel they are so right and everything else is wrong and what they feel is wrong should be eliminated?

Have they forgotten the importance of separation of church and state as written in the US constitution? I wonder what Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin would think of our society based on what they had intended during the time when the constitution was written.

The real problem with marriage today has everything to do with the individuals involved, not "same sex marriage." What they totally ignore as a serious problem is enforcing strict roles and simply following their traditional marriage formula is no guaranteed to being in a happy and satisfying marriage.

Historically, marriage had everything to do with family property rights, passing on the family name and procreation. It totally ignores the relationship (all the other aspect of the marriage that has nothing to do with sex) between two individuals which are key to the success of any marriage. In many cultures, historically and today marriages are arranged based on family needs, and little to nothing to do with the individuals involved. Once again, it's about property, control and passing on the family name. Why is this so very important to some? If you look at the troubles in the middle east and other parts of the world. You can see how traditions, beliefs, values that are passed on have resulted in wars and hatred that has lived on for hundreds of years and in some cases, to this very day. Is this why procreation in marriage is so important, to maintain this way of life for generations today and in the future?

You cannot base a marriage on sex, procreation and family alone and expect everything to work out fine. Its love that makes a family, not strict gender roles, ceremonial passing or following a how to make a family formula. And, love is not sex. They are two very different aspects of humanity.

Relationships require respect for each other, caring for each other, allowing each other to simply be who they are and know they are loved as such, shared interest, and the tools to work out problems that are going to occur, are just a few aspects of what makes a relationship work. These factors can also be the building blocks of a society.

The answer to the "same sex marriage" problem is pretty simple. Delete the sex marker on all birth certificates and allow ever member of society to form relationships that work for them with respect from society for these relationships. Equal rights do not mean you must be a certain type of individual before you are an equal member of humanity. This is pretty basic to being free or the concept of freedom.